Day Whatever-I’ve-Lost-Track: From Mountains to Minot
Today I drove about 12 hours from Calgary to Minot, North Dakota. It was a very different vibe from the rest of this trip—gone were the mountains, glaciers, and twisty scenic roads. Instead, I got a whole lot of flat. Flat in Alberta. Flat in Saskatchewan. Flat in North Dakota. If this drive had a soundtrack, it would’ve been a dial tone.
Once I got a good distance past Calgary, trains started popping up alongside the highway like they were racing me. There were a lot of them—like Canada was having a nationwide train parade and forgot to send invites.I snapped a picture, but fair warning: you might need to zoom in about 300% and squint like you're trying to read the fine print on a car lease. Still counts as photographic evidence.
In eastern Alberta, there was a lot of snow on the ground. I read they got a decent snowfall yesterday. Or maybe they just cleared all of Alberta and dumped it into one spot along my route? Either way, snow in July feels like Canada’s final prank before I left. (Pics or it didn’t happen—don’t worry, I got you.)
While driving, I spotted a tiny, strange-looking plane doing loop-de-loops like it was bored too. It flew left to right… then right to left… then pointed straight at me for a second. I thought I was in a North Dakota remake of Top Gun: Crop Duster Edition. (Pics also included, obviously 😎)
Another strange moment: when I got to Moose Jaw (yes, that’s a real place, not a Canadian cartoon), I noticed what looked like a wall of rain, or maybe fog. It was just hovering in the distance. I kept driving toward it, but it never got any closer. It was like some kind of weather mirage. After about 20 minutes of chasing this mysterious sky-wall, I had a troubling thought, what if the flat-earthers are right, and that’s the edge? 😎
I half-expected to see a sign that said, “Turn back now before you fall off.”
Now, let’s talk about the U.S. border crossing. It was... not warm and fuzzy. Way more intense than Canada. I was hit with a rapid-fire interrogation:
"What’s in your luggage?"
"What’s in your trunk?"
"Open your trunk!"
"Got any marijuana, cannabis, THC, CBD, alphabet soup?"
"Any alcohol? Tobacco? Fruit? Meat? Uncooked meat?"
Apparently, smuggling a raw brisket into North Dakota is a thing now. But hey—I wasn't detained, so chalk that up as a win. 😎
Made it to the Hyatt House in Minot, which is hopping thanks to a wedding party. Nothing says "welcome to America" like sharing an elevator with a tipsy groomsman holding a Bud Light and a plastic-wrapped tux.
Tomorrow, it's a 7-hour drive to Minnesota, where I’ll meet up with my buddy Dale. The scenery (and danger level) may dip for a bit, but fear not: things might get weird again in Chattanooga.
Stay tuned.
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