After Ray leaves Vancouver to visit his son, Al continues his travels through British Columbia.
Al is out here doing the Great Canadian Cannonball Run like he’s in a race against time and logic. My man’s not on vacation — he’s on a mission to singlehandedly wear out the suspension on his car and the patience of every park ranger in western Canada.
Capilano? Blink and he’s swinging through. Whistler? Didn’t even have time to put on skis. He’s blasting past waterfalls like he’s on a water-themed scavenger hunt from a fever dream. Sphats falls, Helmcken falls, Dawson falls — this guy’s checking off natural wonders like they’re Starbucks locations on a road trip bingo card.
By the time Al hits Jasper, even the moose are rolling their eyes. Athabasca Falls, Sunwapta falls, Columbia Icefields? Slow down, Al! Nature’s not a playlist — you can’t just shuffle through it. Peyto Lake and Crowfoot Glacier probably think they’re in a drive-by photo shoot. Emerald Lake to Lake Louise to Moraine Lake to Johnston Canyon? The lakes are tired and they’re just sitting there.
And what’s next? Banff, Lake Minnewanka, Canmore — then Calgary like it’s a pit stop before collapsing face-first into a hotel pillow.
But no, Al doesn’t sleep — Al ascends. He rockets back home through Moose Jaw (because of course he does), Minneapolis, Cincinnati, Chattanooga, like he's speed running North America, until finally crawling back to Tallahassee with 4,000 photos and not a single memory that lasted longer than 30 seconds.
Al, buddy… next time try a nap. The glaciers will still be there.
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